Photo by Tom Paxton (IG: texas.tom)

The excitement of something “new” — whether it be an object, job, relationship, or beginnings of a goal or dream — is alluring. Placing two feet on virgin terrain can fill you with purpose and wonder. Equipped with an adaptable attitude and a healthy dose of fear, your world feels reset anew … in the best way possible.

There’s a hope to answering the question, “What’s next [in my life]? There’s a certain beauty to suspense of the unknown.

Life can be full of joy.

There can also be an immense dread of change, which has the potential to shake up our worlds. The sudden loss of a loved one, revealed family secrets, a breakup after years of dating, a diagnosis of diabetes or cancer, or finding yourself in an unexplainable state of depression and anxiety.

Life can also be full of hurt.

We can resist “new” by keeping our circumstances the same or by living in the past, but we can’t avoid change. Once we face change, wrap our minds around a new reality, and respond — it all starts anew [whether we accept it or reject it]. Everything changes. A new opportunity is laid before us.

I’ve experienced many joys in life for which I’m truly thankful, but I’ve also faced a series of changes that brought about doubt, uncertainty and fear. But even in my poorest of circumstances, I can’t begin to measure my pain to the pain some of you have experienced.

At the time of writing this, I’ve lived in nine cities, the longest tenure being six year. If I’ve learned anything so far, I’ve learned how to adapt. I envy stories of childhood friendships that transition to lifelong ones. A part of me is jealous when I hear of a couple who dated since 8th grade and never grew apart. Moving made those things difficult at best. Each member of my family now lives in a different city, which at my age, isn’t too outlandish. But, sometimes I miss a sense of “home” that no longer exists.

So, I often covet stability. Staying put in one place and fostering community is an ideal for me.

“I just want to settle down and dream of who it is I want to be.”

And in my dreaming, I’ve realized that maybe I’ve compartmentalized a part of myself that I’ve been holding back. I love music. I love telling stories, and having deep conversations beyond the unfulfilling surface crap.

I probably ruined the tone of whatever this is by using the word “crap.” I don’t care, though.

All I know at this moment, is that I’m going to try my best to accept change and embrace something “new.”

I hope you relate to this song and future ones. I hope you find joy and peace in your life. May we encourage each other always as we all encounter the complexities of life.

-- Lane